We all take different roads and different paths. Some we regret, some that change the direction of our lives, but all take us on adventures in this journey we call life. These journeys mold us and shape our paradigms. They change our perception of the world we live in. For good or for bad, one hardly remains untouched or unscathed. I suppose it is on each of us, individually, how our world and our lives affect us. Some folks rise to the occasion and come out the other end better and stronger than before. Some allow the world to darken their souls and destroy their spirit, while still others refuse to change at all and never dare to travel the unknown roads, always standing outside the fire, afraid of life and the mysteries it holds.
I took many paths I should not have taken, and I did not take many I should have. My regrets are many, as are my sorrows, but I still manage to smile, and I laugh probably more than I should, all things considered. But isn’t even one laugh—one spontaneous, joyful, boisterous laugh—enough to make it all worthwhile? I’d like to think so. All the pain and sorrow and regret and anger and hate can never hold a candle to that one laugh, that one moment of joy, the one memory that puts a twinkle in your eye and a smile touches the corners of your mouth, and you know there is good out there, light in a sea of darkness, hope in a sea of despair, love in a sea of hate.
The paths we take, the roads we follow—some we choose, some are accidental, some are chosen for us, and some we are forced down by a sometimes cruel and unrelenting world. But I have to believe it is not without reason. We are more than just specks of dust in the wind, more than motes in a beam of light, floating without purpose or design.
No! There is a reason. There is a plan, a destiny—through fate and causality and chance—a guiding force that touches us all and pushes us and knocks us down, only to force us back to our feet. A force that shapes our lives. And although it may be hard and painful, I have to believe there is a reason, and that reason is what keeps me going down this path in search of another road to take, another road to travel.
I take all the pain and sorrow, and I store it all away. I take all the happiness, laughter, and joy, and I store it all away. For all these feelings and emotions and experiences and adventures—both good and bad—are mine and mine alone, even though many were shared with other travelers I met along the way. But they had their own paths to take, their own roads to follow, their own adventure, their own journey, their own life.
Glad am I to have been given this life to live. The good and the bad both played an intricate role in my life. Without both, I would be the less. So I am thankful for both, although on occasion I still complain. Yet in my heart of hearts, I know all of it was worthwhile, just to have been allowed to go on this journey and given the choice of what roads to follow.
So I think of Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Not Taken,” and reflect on the path I took and the roads I’ve taken. And be one traveler, I ponder with a sigh, at days ahead and years gone by. Through the grace of God, the corners of my mouth turn up in a smile and a twinkle of mirth shines in my eyes, along with the watery shine of sadness that comes with every life lived.
As for the rest of my life here in this mortal body, with all its unknowns and fears, with all its potential trials and tribulations, I shall count them as blessings. They let me know I am still alive, and with life there is hope—hope for another moment of joy and laughter. For as William Henley said, “I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.”
So I will captain this soul and sail it to high adventure in search of the ever-elusive happiness we all dream about. And if in the end I never find it, and life does not turn out how I hoped it would—I lived an adventure with many stories to tell and a head full of memories.
I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.